The five best ways to waste your time

I consider myself a hard working individual. In fact I study frequently, and take pride in achieving excellent grades. But even I notice I have too much time on my hands, especially during school.

Majority of the time, while sitting in class, students always ask what it is I’m actually doing. I simply tell them “I’m wasting time.” This might sound fairly easy, but it’s actually a sophisticated art form. What’s even better is that there are a variety of ways to waste time. After my own personal experience, years of schooling, and personal interviews, I’ve come to the conclusion that the art of wasting time is a key element to a student’s education. So sit down, free your mind, and allow me to introduce you to this phenomenon sweeping schools across the country.

Time wasting technique No. 5 - Find a classmate to talk to:

This one is obvious, and can be an effective time-waster. Find a fellow classmate near to you, perhaps one you can hold a decent conversation with. Ideally, small talk about your classes’ initial assignment is a good place to start. But, by periods end, I can guarantee you will have strayed away your previous conversation to something about the Lakers chances of winning back-to-back championships or how bad you felt for John because Annie had an affair with Steve on Days of Our Lives. Someone relate-able like this can make 60 minutes seem like six. If you do this during class, you deserve a B and a pat on the back for your time-wasting ability.

Time wasting technique No. 4 - Use your phone and text:

If your teacher is the strong and silent type, then do exactly what he/she likes and just chat it up...silently. Not all classes are going to have likeable people in them, so why not use the technology in your left front jean pocket and talk to your buddy. Doing this can be costly as teachers might take your phone or possibly ask you to leave, but in the middle of their boring lecture on grasshoppers and their effect on society, it might be worth it. Texting will easily earn you a B+ on the time-wasting grading scale.        

Time wasting technique No. 3 - Read a book:

Some people might think, “Wait, since when has reading been a waste of time?” It’s definitely a waste of time if instead of learning about poly and binomials; you’re reading about Hogwarts or Frodo. Find an enticing book, get lost in it, and let the time get to wasting.

According to 35-year-old teacher, at Orting High School, Misty Peterson, “A lot of our students here are reading during my class. I don’t get too upset, because I used to do it myself”. Amazing, simply amazing. Even teachers are getting into the art of wasting time. If you can become the bookworm nerd during class, you deserve an A- in time-wasting 101.

Time wasting technique No. 2 - Use the Internet:

Ahhh… the World Wide Web. We all use it when we’re bored, and even when we’re not we find ourselves harvesting pineapples on Farmville.com or checking our slumbering stocks on CNN. If we can use the Internet in our free time, why not use it when we want to waste it?

With social networking giants such as Myspace and Facebook, and an array of random web game and humor sites, there is nothing more entertaining than lounging in front of the computer.

“I’m constantly on Facebook during class, I practically live on the website bro.” This comment coming from up and coming running start student 18-year-old, Grant Hathaway.

Personally, if you work as hard as I do, I suggest Youtubeing it up. At this website you can watch countless morons trip and fall. Just make sure not to LOL (laugh out loud) while earning a solid A for wasting time.

Time wasting technique No. 1 - Take a nap:

According to psychologists Amy R. Wolfson, PhD, of the College of the Holy Cross, and Mary A. Carskadon, PhD, of Brown University Medical School, 26 percent of high school and college students sleep less then 6.5 hours of sleep a night. After studying hard all day and night, why not make up an extra half hour? You have nothing else to do anyways. Obviously sleeping makes time fly by, so try it during class and hope the teacher doesn’t catch you. If you can successfully cut logs and count sheep during class, you get an A+ and a big wet cheek full of drool. You are now a professional time-waster, take this in stride and keep on improving.

So there you have it, the top 5 time-wasting techniques. Use them wisely, but only if all your work is already finished... yeah right.