A new surge has been caused in the consumer market today after the release of the new “male chastity belt” which sold over one million belts after only a week of production. “I love the man belt” says satisfied customer Nikki Johanson “now I can leave the house with my mind at peace knowing my husband won’t try to go out and bang the first thing he sees.” The man belt is designed with iron except for the lock which is made of steel and titanium. The belt is only removable using the master key, which comes in a variety of festive shapes and colors. “The idea just came to me” says Elin Woods, creator of the man belt “I wanted to create a way for women like me to not have to worry about any potential ‘gifts’ that their husbands could bring back after a long ‘golf tournament’. I didn’t realize they would be this popular, but I guess there are more scumbags out there than I thought.” The man belt has built popularity not only among married women, but single women as well. “Before the man belt there was no sure way to know if the guy you meet is married or not,” says Anna Reemer “Married guys would just take off their rings and tell you they were single. There have been more than a few single guys I met who turned out to be not so ‘single.’ Now with the man belt, it’s very, very, easy to tell who’s actually single and who isn’t with just one glance. It’s hard to hide iron underwear. I really have to thank Tiger Woods. If he hadn’t been such a cheating weasel, Elin never would’ve come up with such a brilliant invention.” Mr. Woods was unavailable for comment.
1 comments