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<title><![CDATA[The Current - Satire RSS]]></title>
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Out with the books, in with the big screens]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/out-with-the-books-in-with-the-big-screens-1.1494561</link>
<author> Kelli Wyatt  </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Kelli Wyatt <br><p>
<div><span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 120%;">Starting at the end of Spring Quarter, demolition of the Holman Library will make way for a new library of information, Green River officials said Monday.</span></div>
<div> </div>
<div><span ...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.1494561</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Out with the books, in with the big screens]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[
<div><span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 120%;">Starting at the end of Spring Quarter, demolition of the Holman Library will make way for a new library of information, Green River officials said Monday.</span></div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div><span ...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Kelli Wyatt </media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Hangover epidemic sweeps campus]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/hangover-epidemic-sweeps-campus-1.1494560</link>
<author> Josh Robbins </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Josh Robbins<br><p>
<div><span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 120%;">Green River Community College sits in the wake of one of its greatest tragedies. On Thursday, officials reported a skyrocketing death toll of 436 students and counting, which threatens to devour the ...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.1494560</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Hangover epidemic sweeps campus]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[
<div><span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 120%;">Green River Community College sits in the wake of one of its greatest tragedies. On Thursday, officials reported a skyrocketing death toll of 436 students and counting, which threatens to devour the ...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Josh Robbins</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[ASGRCC election reeled in spectacular catches]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/asgrcc-election-reeled-in-spectacular-catches-1.1472209</link>
<author> Jessi Cheney and Kelli Wyatt </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Jessi Cheney and Kelli Wyatt<br><p>
<div style="text-align: justify; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The last week showcased the elections and revealing for the new ASGRCC committee.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; background: non...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 4 May 2010</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.1472209</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[ASGRCC election reeled in spectacular catches]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[
<div style="text-align: justify; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">The last week showcased the elections and revealing for the new ASGRCC committee.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify; background: non...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Jessi Cheney and Kelli Wyatt</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Obama pushes for surge in war on mushroom kingdom]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/obama-pushes-for-surge-in-war-on-mushroom-kingdom-1.1348008</link>
<author> Josh Robbins </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Josh Robbins<br><p>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">On Monday, President Barack Obama held a national address in the Senate to announce his coming military plan which requires over 50,000 troops to be deployed in the ongoing War on the...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Sun, 18 Apr 2010</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.1348008</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Obama pushes for surge in war on mushroom kingdom]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">On Monday, President Barack Obama held a national address in the Senate to announce his coming military plan which requires over 50,000 troops to be deployed in the ongoing War on the...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Josh Robbins</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
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</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Women everywhere thanking Tiger Woods]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/women-everywhere-thanking-tiger-woods-1.1172916</link>
<author> Mary Preston </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Mary Preston<br><p> 
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%">A new surge has been caused in the consumer market today after the release of the new 'male chastity belt' which sold over one million belts after only a week of pr...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.1172916</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Women everywhere thanking Tiger Woods]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[&nbsp;
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%">A new surge has been caused in the consumer market today after the release of the new 'male chastity belt' which sold over one million belts after only a week of pr...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Mary Preston</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[America's newest holiday: The Super Bowl]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/america-s-newest-holiday-the-super-bowl-1.1172911</link>
<author> Thomas Hanes </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Thomas Hanes<br><p><span style="font-size: 13pt">It wasn't too long ago that the Super Bowl was just another Sunday not much different than any other, but it is hard to remember back to those days. For this year's Super Bowl season, people will be getting out more decoratio...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.1172911</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[America's newest holiday: The Super Bowl]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[<span style="font-size: 13pt">It wasn't too long ago that the Super Bowl was just another Sunday not much different than any other, but it is hard to remember back to those days. For this year's Super Bowl season, people will be getting out more decoratio...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Thomas Hanes</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
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</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Healthy choices?]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/healthy-choices-1.892746</link>
<author> Sze Nga Wong </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Sze Nga WongStudents fail to practice what they preach<br><p>A healthy life style is often valued and most people have the basic concepts of being healthy. Many students at Green River Community College seem to know much more than the basic concepts since a two-credit PE class is needed to get an Associate Degree.
...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892746</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Healthy choices?]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[A healthy life style is often valued and most people have the basic concepts of being healthy. Many students at Green River Community College seem to know much more than the basic concepts since a two-credit PE class is needed to get an Associate Degree.
...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Sze Nga Wong</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[The Snuggie siege on campus]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/the-snuggie-siege-on-campus-1.892736</link>
<author> Nicole Swapp  and  Lindsey Williams </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=http://www.thecurrentonline.net/polopoly_fs/1.892738!image/320506960.jpg_gen/thumbnails/100x100/320506960.jpg><br />Cult members make desperate attempts to keep the backwards robe pure<br><p>Ever since the invention of Snuggies, students all over Green River Community College have been dressing in the backwards robe daily. This crazy fashion experience has also caught the eyes of many faculty and staff members  and ndash; Spanish professors have ...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892736</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[The Snuggie siege on campus]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[Ever since the invention of Snuggies, students all over Green River Community College have been dressing in the backwards robe daily. This crazy fashion experience has also caught the eyes of many faculty and staff members &ndash; Spanish professors have ...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="http://www.thecurrentonline.net/polopoly_fs/1.892738!image/320506960.jpg_gen/thumbnails/100x100/320506960.jpg" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='http://www.thecurrentonline.net/polopoly_fs/1.892738!image/320506960.jpg_gen/thumbnails/100x100/320506960.jpg' />
<media:credit role="author">Nicole Swapp  and  Lindsey Williams</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
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</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Hunters and Premies and Trackers… OH MY!]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/hunters-and-premies-and-trackers-oh-my-1.892717</link>
<author> Jeanette Helms </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Jeanette HelmsWhen rabbits go rabid it’s not so cute! It causes death! Lots of death!<br><p>There's been a recent outbreak of killer bunnies on campus.
Due to several territorial wars between the bunnies and squirrels, many of them have not survived long enough to achieve their first kill.  Rabbits who haven't tasted blood are called  and lsquo;Pre...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892717</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Hunters and Premies and Trackers… OH MY!]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[There's been a recent outbreak of killer bunnies on campus.
Due to several territorial wars between the bunnies and squirrels, many of them have not survived long enough to achieve their first kill.  Rabbits who haven't tasted blood are called &lsquo;Pre...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Jeanette Helms</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Overexcitement of the first day]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/overexcitement-of-the-first-day-1.892676</link>
<author> Nirmal Sharma </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Nirmal SharmaThe frightening experience of an alumni, retold<br><p>'Under my umbrella ella ella eh eh...' was the wake up alarm on my phone at 4 a.m.,' told Siya Wilson, 28, a graduated student from Green River Community College. This great day was her first day of college and she was so energized that she set her alarm ...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892676</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Overexcitement of the first day]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA['Under my umbrella ella ella eh eh...' was the wake up alarm on my phone at 4 a.m.,' told Siya Wilson, 28, a graduated student from Green River Community College. This great day was her first day of college and she was so energized that she set her alarm ...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Nirmal Sharma</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Cell phone diseases rage through campus ]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/cell-phone-diseases-rage-through-campus-1.892647</link>
<author>  </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Jin Han<br><p>For the last two weeks, an increasing number of students have developed diseases that can be traced back to Cell Phone Disease (CDP). Students have reported thing such as elephant ears, shrinking of fingers, and developing animal features.
A study from F...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892647</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Cell phone diseases rage through campus ]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[For the last two weeks, an increasing number of students have developed diseases that can be traced back to Cell Phone Disease (CDP). Students have reported thing such as elephant ears, shrinking of fingers, and developing animal features.
A study from F...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author"></media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Textbooks: the next evolution]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/textbooks-the-next-evolution-1.892598</link>
<author> Charles Renwick </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=http://www.theseahawk.org/polopoly_fs/1.892626!image/2417434490.jpg_gen/thumbnails/100x100/2417434490.jpg><br />Could the legitimacy of our education be at stake?<br><p>Starting effectively winter quarter, Green River Community College is adopting a new and rapidly spreading textbook program.
The program, Customs Outreach of Literature in Educational School, gives more choice to the selection of textbooks available for ...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892598</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Textbooks: the next evolution]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[Starting effectively winter quarter, Green River Community College is adopting a new and rapidly spreading textbook program.
The program, Customs Outreach of Literature in Educational School, gives more choice to the selection of textbooks available for ...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="http://www.theseahawk.org/polopoly_fs/1.892626!image/2417434490.jpg_gen/thumbnails/100x100/2417434490.jpg" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='http://www.theseahawk.org/polopoly_fs/1.892626!image/2417434490.jpg_gen/thumbnails/100x100/2417434490.jpg' />
<media:credit role="author">Charles Renwick</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
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</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[The dawning of “Twilight”]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/the-dawning-of-twilight-1.892612</link>
<author> Brittney Cargill </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Brittney CargillHelpful tips to protect you against the creatures of the night<br><p>For all Green River students and staff members on campus during night hours: a cautious warning. Werewolves are being spotted along the Green River trails, coming dangerously close to buildings and roaming the parking lots.
Rumor has it these werewolves ...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892612</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[The dawning of “Twilight”]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[For all Green River students and staff members on campus during night hours: a cautious warning. Werewolves are being spotted along the Green River trails, coming dangerously close to buildings and roaming the parking lots.
Rumor has it these werewolves ...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Brittney Cargill</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Breaking news (literally)]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/breaking-news-literally-1.892582</link>
<author> Barbara Thom </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Barbara ThomBroken legs lead to potential change in dress code<br><p>Over the last weeks since fall quarter began, 17 female students have randomly broken their legs.  School officials and security have been scrambling to discover the reason.  It has been discovered that each of these students had one thing in common.  The...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.892582</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Breaking news (literally)]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[Over the last weeks since fall quarter began, 17 female students have randomly broken their legs.  School officials and security have been scrambling to discover the reason.  It has been discovered that each of these students had one thing in common.  The...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Barbara Thom</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
<enclosure url="" length="85346" type="image/jpeg" />
</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Sarah Palin in 2012]]></title>
<link>http://www.thecurrentonline.net/2.2958/sarah-palin-in-2012-1.528746</link>
<author> Mike Espinosa </author>

<description>
<![CDATA[<img src=><br /><span class="by">By: </span>Mike Espinosa<br><p>Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and vice president candidate, has been growing in popularity as candidate for president due to the 2012 Mayan doomsday theory.

In a national poll, the most popular reason for supporting Palin was, '2012, bro!' wit...</p>]]>

</description>
<pubDate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009</pubDate>
<guid isPermaLink="false">1.528746</guid>
<category>Satire</category>

<media:title type="plain"><![CDATA[Sarah Palin in 2012]]></media:title>
<media:description><![CDATA[Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and vice president candidate, has been growing in popularity as candidate for president due to the 2012 Mayan doomsday theory.

In a national poll, the most popular reason for supporting Palin was, '2012, bro!' wit...]]></media:description>
<media:thumbnail height="91" width="130" url="" />
<media:content height='91' width='130' type='image/jpeg' url='' />
<media:credit role="author">Mike Espinosa</media:credit>
<media:category>Satire</media:category>
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